okay, finallyyyy posting the story behind our boy’s miraculous existence! seriously, this story still gives me chills whenever I think about it. just so in awe of what God did… i’ll never get over it.
if you aren’t familiar with our history, we got married in 2013 and then had 2 surprise pregnancies — Silas in 2014 and Verity in 2016. I got pregnant easily (without even trying haha) and had absolutely zero complications of any kind. we decided to go for a third to complete our family at the end of 2017 but then, devastatingly, went on to lose 5 babies in 2018 — we had 5 miscarriges, back to back. january, may, august, september and november. we visited multiple doctors and specialists and they had no answers for us, no apparent reasons as to why we kept miscarrying. it was probably the most isolating, darkest, most brutal year i’ve ever walked through and it felt like hope was slipping through my fingers with each loss.
in january of 2019, our church’s annual fast rolled around. if you aren’t familiar with fasting, it’s basically giving something up for a set amount of time (food, social media, etc) and spending that time instead focusing on Jesus, on what he’s speaking and doing in our own hearts and as a community. it’s truly always a incredible time, especially fasting with other believers in the church, coming together for prayer and worship three nights in a row. so powerful!
anyways, the sunday of our all-church fast (january 13-15), I woke up and felt God say to ask people pray for us each night of the 3-day fast. to be honest, my immediate thought was, “no way. that’s wayyyy too needy.” 🙈😂 I just didn’t want to be THAT person that kept asking for prayer? I don’t know, it’s so silly now but just how I felt at the time. it also felt super vulnerable for me to ask for such a specific, bold request, given our history. but at church that morning, our pastor’s sermon was about the persistent widow and how we should ask and keep asking, seek and keep seeking, etc. it felt like confirmation on what God spoke to my heart earlier that morning so I decided to go ahead and ask people to pray each night.
sooo they did haha! and honestly, it wasn’t anything spectacular. there was no huge moment that I walked away from and thought, “YES! boom! God is gonna do it!” I was actually a little discouraged since I was hoping for some kind of big sign or something haha. but what WAS amazing, is that during the time of the fast, I had 4 different people come up to me and said they felt God was giving them a picture/word for me. AND, somewhat shockingly, all 4 “words” were almost the same exact thing — they each said that they saw a picture of me holding a newborn, that they saw the words, “where there is no way, you make a way,” that God is able, etc. (just want to add, these were people who didn’t even really know each other so it’s not like they were exchanging notes haha! ONLY GOD at work, that they would all say the same thing). it was incredible and so encouraging! I wasn’t sure when it would happen but at that moment, I just felt peace that it WOULD someday and I held onto that.
about a week and a half after the fast, shock of ALL shocks, I got a positive pregnancy test. I’m not even sure what prompted me to take the test, since I think it was still a few days early, but I took it and came back a few minutes later to find the FAINTEST hint of a line. like, I’m not sure anyone else could’ve seen the line but me haha. it was seriously SOOOO faint. but I called my specialist anyways and once again, started the entire process of bloodwork and checking my numbers all over again. i’m not even sure I can put my emotions from that time into words… nervous, hopeful, absolutely terrified, at peace.
but i do know that for the first time, I didn’t take 20 other tests and compare them. I didn’t obsess. I didn’t check if the lines were darkening every 48 hours. I literally just took it day by day, blood test by blood test. the first one finally came back — I was definitely pregnant (and somehow found out literally the day it implanted haha, I was 2 weeks 6 days the day of that test. like HOWWW haha). the doctor immediately started me on progesterone suppositories and baby aspirin, as a precaution. we did another draw 2 days later… got the call, numbers were rising. 2 days later, another draw… numbers still rising! at that point, they told me to come in to talk to the specialist about the pregnancy, since it appeared viable by all test results.
I sat in that doctor’s office, a doctor who had no idea about our church fast or how hard we had prayed for this baby, as he looked at everything and calculated all the dates in front of me. he rustled a few papers around and then told me, “well... looks like you got pregnant sometime between january 13-15th.”
YOU GUYS. january 13-15th. the EXACT DAYS of the fast😭🙌🏼😭🙌🏼
the exact days that our friends laid hands on us over and over again and prayed for God to move.
and I still can’t wrap my mind around it, 7 months later. this baby is a MIRACLE and I’ll never, ever get over it. thank you, JESUS!!! the God of the impossible. praise Him.